A week ago, I was driving when I saw a car cross three lanes of traffic and crash into the van in front of me. The impact of the car into the side of the van caused the van to spin several times in the road. That same car ran head-on into my car. In the blink of an eye, I saw one crash and was the victim of another. No time to maneuver. No time to think. No time to brake. No time to pray.  BOOM!

From the impact of the two cars colliding, my seat belts locked into place as expected and my airbags deployed. The force of the airbag burned my arm opposite my elbow and broke my right hand.

I’m thankful for this brokenness because it saved my life. I did not see the oft-told “bright light” flash before my eyes. I did see the the explosion of the white airbag and the dusty residue it leaves in its wake.  A residue when mixed with a red-colored soda from Wendy’s looks like splotches of blood covering every place it touched. A gentle reminder that the blood of Christ covers me. Had this been my time to die, I have the full assurance that I would be with Him, not because of my own righteousness (which is filthy at best), but because of His blood.

When it registered in my mind that I was in a wreck, that I was alive, and I was seeing dust not smoke, I started looking for the answer. I had many questions but the one that stood out the most is “What’s next?” I could not think far into the future or concentrate on the present. I was on an adrenaline high, with searing pain, and everything was hilarious. I was able to contact my first responders who took care of those questions for me.  They were my hands, feet, eyes, and mouth.

For three days, I was on a pharmaceutical high fueled by cyclobenzaprine and hydrocodone. I have foggy memories of the specifics of those days except for a series of hilarious tweets, a collection of paperwork, and the overwhelming peace from excellent caretakers. I had no worries. None of those normal stressors mattered. I was resting without a care in the world. I was at the place were “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NLT) came alive. I wonder how much better and fulfilling my life would be if I lived in that moment always.  Maybe breaking me and stopping my flurry of activity was enough to let me see this truth. I see it.

God activated people in my life who mapped my every move, took care of every appointment, and every meal. He provided selfless people who made sure that I was resting, healing, comfortable, and either pain free or medicated enough that the pain did not matter.  I cannot begin to pay that kindness back or pay it forward. But, I will. Some how, I will.

Actually, I’m thankful for the great number of friends and family who put their lives on hold and made sacrifices for me during my greatest time of need.  Thank you for the expressions of love shown me through the prayers, calls, visits, cards, concerns, and listening to countless retellings of this story.

In the blink of an eye, I went from healed to hurting, from whole to broken, from secure to shaken. Everything about that moment caused a chain reaction of events that are still playing out. I don’t know the final outcome, but I am trusting God with gratitude.

None of this pain is new in the grand scheme of things, it’s usually just uncomfortable in the short term.  At the same time, it has a purpose.  And the Word reminds me that I need to focus on the God’s greater purpose, rather than on the random situation of the day.

And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again. ~~ Ecclesiastes 3:14-15

I’m surrounded by some wonderful people who make me the awesome individual I am.  I’m overwhelmed by those friends who take the time to talk, text, email, and tweet me consistently. I appreciate all the time you’ve poured into my life. In the past ten days, some of you really stepped up. Maybe you didn’t know that you did anything special, but you did. Thank you for your perception and intuition! Y’all are my favorites, but we’ll keep that between us.  People may get jealous.

Let’s face it. I’m a busy dude. I’m perpetually on-call with a hectic work week. I’m a graduate student. I’m the father the best kids on the planet. I’m a Christ follower hanging out in the music, drama, mission, and high school ministries at Fellowship North. I’m usually doing something. I’m always trying to stay out of trouble in this crazy single world.

Having said that, the most precious and personal gift that I can give anyone that says ILY (I Love You) is my time. I don’t have much to spare, but I give it in spades to the people and things I’m passionate about.  Most of all, as a data dude, it’s measurable. Here’s a hint. I’m letting you know how special you are if you’ve experienced one or more of these akv events in a given week.

• More than 10 minutes on a phone call.
• Received more than two text messages.
• Had a face-to-face conversation for more than three minutes.
• Participated in a Twitter conversation with more than two @replies.
• Get like bombed on Instagram.

This is not an exhaustive list, but I think you get my point.  For me, right now,  love = time.  As I experience more tides rolling in and out, this expression may change, so stay posted.

And again…thanks!

Not that any of these issues are bad in and of themselves, they are the reality in which many Christ followers live.  We have great days, mediocre days, and some holy-crap-I-just-wanna-meet-Jesus-horrible days. But isn’t that the point?  They are, after all, just days.  They will pass as quickly as they came.

Job, possibly one of my favorite dudes from the scriptures, once said this, “Can the dead live again? If so, this would give me hope through all my years of struggle, and I would eagerly await the release of death” (Job 14:14).  He was filled with despair about the situations in his life.  I’ve never experienced the degree of pain, heartache, and difficulty that Job suffered, but I can agree with his emotional state of really wanting a release.  Sometimes we long for change –something fresh, something different.  We want to get out of “here” whatever that means to us.

Job felt that his only exit was death and after death a new start.  There is so much truth to this sentiment that I’ve ignored during the painful assault of my most desperate moments.  Death often begets new life.  It works in many practical life situations ranging from planting seeds to cell phone upgrades.

Regarding seeds Paul wrote this to the church at Corinth:

But someone may ask, “How are the dead raised? With what kind of body will they come?” How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed, perhaps of wheat or of something else. But God gives it a body as he has determined, and to each kind of seed he gives its own body.  (1 Corinthians 15:35-38 NIV)

But cell phones, AK? Really? Well, you know most of us don’t plan on upgrading until the current one breaks. I’m just saying…  I’m still working with God to allow my to trust Him most in my weaknesses, by brokenness, and my loneliness.

Why so down, sir? I have plenty of friends, family, loved ones, and acquaintances who are doing everything right. It’s not that I don’t know people or have no social calendar. My failings are mine. I own those.  I get off track sometimes and that’s OK. I know my way back. I can feel the sensation coming and can make some changes to avoid an incident.  Earlier this week, nope.  Failed miserably on Monday.  I have some great friends who took the time to bring me back to live. Hanging out at Waffle House, sending text messages, calling my phone, encouraging me on Twitter, and closing the night with song Nina Simone. I have awesome friends.

At the end of the day, I tweeted this: ”What a day!!!! I’m so thankful to you’ve help me make it through this one. I know awesome people.”

Taken at Build-A-Bear Workshop

(via Anthony K. Valley’s Posterous)

Today’s been one of the longest days ever. In just a few minutes I would’ve been up almost 24 hours straight –primarily working DBA on-call issues, a regular work day, followed by a four-hour grad school class.

I guess to maintain my sanity I have way too many stimulants and too little sleep –too much sugar, too many almonds, too much water and not enough good old-fashioned sleep.

For this piece, I’m using Decim8 and the Best Camera app to create this look. It’s been a long time since I’ve used the Best Camera for my work. I’m really fond of Decim8 for its digital random artifact gloriousness.

(via Anthony K. Valley’s Posterous)

I stepped away from doing what I love for a considerable amount of time. But, I think I’m at the place where I can ease back into this.

Starting this reboot off is a Diptic & Decim8 work I’m calling “Christmas Red.”

Thanks, y’all!
@akvalley

(via Anthony K. Valley’s Posterous)

(via Anthony K. Valley’s Posterous)

(via Anthony K. Valley’s Posterous)

Anthony K. Valley posted a photo:

(via Anthony K. Valley’s Posterous)